I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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