oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
