What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
nutella sex= disaster
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
