i can't believe i had my finger in that
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
