i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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