And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
