girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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