I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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