and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
