I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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