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• (713): View more from Texas

  Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning

  (1-413): View more from Massachusetts

  More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I wish i could be there for it

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• (571): View more from Virginia

  you're bored at work aren't you?

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.

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• (646): View more from New York

  This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie

  (347): View more from New York

  It's not

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers

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• (727): View more from Florida

  No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."

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