dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
