Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
