I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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