I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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