i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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