Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
