Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize