69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
