I need help removing her.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
