I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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