Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
