oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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