We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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