i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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