Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize