singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
