You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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