I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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