i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
