ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I didn't notice because vodka
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
