Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
