I'm going to jail i love you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
