I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
