I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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