I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
