my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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