Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
