pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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