You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
