You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I have fence marks all over my body
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
