All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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