Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I want her autograph on my taint
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
