Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
