You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
