I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
