it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
