i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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