it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
This gyro tastes like lonliness
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Randomize