3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
