so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
