Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
