Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
