Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize