I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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