Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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