Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
